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* Gyoshoku returns to the prison a little over a week later
* Kurousagi has been writing small-ish all week, learning from last time... still has some paper left
* Gyoshoku brought more paper, and some ink as well, though
<Gyoshoku> this took my spending money for the week... so... use it well
* Gyoshoku hands her the paper and ink
* Kurousagi takes it. "Thank you."
* Kurousagi would be so bored without this
<Gyoshoku> you look better
* Kurousagi smiles a bit at him. "If you say so..."
* Gyoshoku smiles back
<Gyoshoku> so, ready to get out for a bit?
* Kurousagi nods. "Yeah..."
* Gyoshoku nods to the guard who opens the door for them
* Gyoshoku holds and arm out for her
* Kurousagi gets up from bed, using his arm to steady herself a bit
* Gyoshoku waits while they are tied together again
<Gyoshoku> never thought you were the type to let yourself get tied down, Kurousagi
<Kurousagi> know, I think if I comment on that, you'll just get mad and throw me back in there, so I'll just be silent, for once
* Gyoshoku chuckles
<Gyoshoku> don't worry, I talked it over with Kumiko and... I have it in perpective now
<Gyoshoku> you may be a lying manipulative hateful person, but you're still a person
<Kurousagi> Yeah... odd how that works
* Gyoshoku leads her outside
* Kurousagi takes deep breaths of fresh air
<Gyoshoku> it must get so stifling in there
<Kurousagi> Yeah... it does...
* Kurousagi look around the shrine as they walk
<Gyoshoku> well, enjoy it while it lasts
<Kurousagi> I am...
<Gyoshoku> tell me... you said that you lose everyone... what did you mean?
* Kurousagi sighs slightly, shaking her head
<Kurousagi> remember some time... during my telling of that lie... I said I had a little sister?
<Kurousagi> Well... I did, once... and I had parents, too... and... a normal life *shrugs*
<Gyoshoku> heh, didn't we all?
<Kurousagi> I guess... *shrugs*
<Kurousagi> anyway, I lost them
* Gyoshoku nods
<Gyoshoku> that must have been very hard
* Kurousagi shrugs and looks down at the ground
<Gyoshoku> I'm sure they didn't mean to leave you
<Gyoshoku> <not like mine...>
<Kurousagi> no, they didn't... but they did anyway
<Gyoshoku> at least you know they loved you
<Kurousagi> I guess
<Gyoshoku> that's important...
<Kurousagi> but, see, I loved them... and I lost them... that's how it goes for everything I get attached to
<Gyoshoku> that doesn't mean you shouldn't love things, though
<Gyoshoku> it doesn't mean you should give up on connecting with people
<Kurousagi> EVERY time I get attached, that happens, houshi
* Gyoshoku sighs
<Kurousagi> even if it's just to a rabbit, somehow, people will make sure I can't keep it
<Gyoshoku> it was a familiar, not a pet, I couldn't let you keep it
<Kurousagi> but, see, that's how it happens
<Gyoshoku> maybe
<Kurousagi> that's how it always fucking goes
<Gyoshoku> I understand, believe me
<Kurousagi> and I have the date of my death set, why'd I want to get attached when I know I'll have to leave everything again so soon?
<Gyoshoku> to make your last days the best they can be?
<Kurousagi> would they get better if I had people to care about to depart from?
<Kurousagi> would they really?
<Gyoshoku> I... don't know
<Gyoshoku> I like to think that caring about people and having them care about you makes life better, yes
<Gyoshoku> but perhaps I'm really the fool you think me
<Gyoshoku> I once thought as you do, and not so long ago, either
<Kurousagi> can we stop? I think I need to sit down...
* Gyoshoku nods and leads them to a bench
* Kurousagi sits down. "Well... is there any use in being proven wrong?"
* Gyoshoku sits beside her
<Kurousagi> Say that you could make me change my mind, and start caring for things again... you, the brat, the guard outside the door... what would the use be?
* Gyoshoku sighs and shakes his head
<Gyoshoku> thing is, I think you already do
<Gyoshoku> you're just denying it
<Gyoshoku> why else would you have cried over what I said last week?
<Gyoshoku> you care, somewhere deep down
<Kurousagi> I'm pregnant, in case you missed it. Pregnancy does tend to mess with girls' reactions.
<Gyoshoku> I didn't miss it
<Gyoshoku> and even pregnancy won't make you cry if you don't care at all
<Kurousagi> So, I cared about being locked away to rot
<Gyoshoku> mhm
<Gyoshoku> you're not really fooling anyone
<Gyoshoku> except maybe yourself
<Gyoshoku> forget I said anything, if you have to believe that, it's not my place to dissuade you
<Kurousagi> I don't want to care...
<Gyoshoku> ok
<Gyoshoku> when I met you the first time, I felt the same way
<Gyoshoku> anything not to feel
<Gyoshoku> you and I are so alike *chuckles ruefully*
<Gyoshoku> I think that's why you piss me off so much
<Kurousagi> you see all your bad sides in me?
<Gyoshoku> bad... maybe
<Kurousagi> and you get annoyed because you don't want to think about them?
* Gyoshoku nods
<Gyoshoku> do you know how easy it would be for me to get lost in you? even now... even with everything I have to lose
* Kurousagi smiles a bit. "No, I guess I don't... the fact that you spend half your time shouting at me for being a bitch might have something to do with it."
<Gyoshoku> heh
<Gyoshoku> convincing myself
<Gyoshoku> everything about you is wrong... opposite of the one who showed me how to love.... but, I can't explain it
* Kurousagi laughs. "I know."
<Gyoshoku> Kijou is right to suspect me, I'm a horrible man
<Gyoshoku> and I shouldn't tell you any of this
<Kurousagi> you know... if... *shakes her head*
<Kurousagi> ...never mind
<Gyoshoku> what?
<Kurousagi> it's not really important anyway
* Gyoshoku raises his brows and looks at her in that really adorable questioning way
<Kurousagi> I guess... if I was to actually care about anyone again, it'd be you... what with you being the only one who cares marginally about me at the time
<Gyoshoku> oh...
<Gyoshoku> Kumiko cares... she's... unbelievably forgiving
<Kurousagi> She does, huh? *smiles wryly*
<Gyoshoku> yeah...
<Kurousagi> gods, she's too perfect to be true
<Gyoshoku> tell me about it... you should see... err, never mind
* Kurousagi smiles wryly.
<Gyoshoku> she just really believes in the good in people
<Gyoshoku> even people like us
<Gyoshoku> it makes her an easy mark... I have to be on my guard all the time, in case someone's pulling a fast one on her
<Kurousagi> oh gods... I don't think anyone's seen much good in me the last few years
<Gyoshoku> no one had seen much in me either
<Gyoshoku> especially me
* Kurousagi laughs. "We're alike, that's true."
<Kurousagi> too bad I couldn't find someone ridiculously nice to change me, I guess... would've gotten me a longer life expectancy
<Gyoshoku> I don't think I've really changed all that much
<Gyoshoku> in some ways, yes, but... I'm still a cynic at heart, when it comes to everything but her
<Gyoshoku> don't you think you could love your child?
* Kurousagi looks down at her tummy
<Kurousagi> I don't know
<Gyoshoku> it's completely innocent, pure...
<Kurousagi> ...with us as its' parents?
* Gyoshoku chuckles again
<Gyoshoku> ok, maybe not that pure
<Gyoshoku> but innocent, certainly
<Kurousagi> I guess... *sighs*
<Kurousagi> but what's the use...
<Gyoshoku> it's good for your soul
<Kurousagi> remind me to do that in my next life, then
<Gyoshoku> what makes you think I'll see you in the next life?
<Kurousagi> because... they say souls you make some kind of connection to... you will meet again
<Gyoshoku> we're too cursed
* Kurousagi shrugs
<Kurousagi> fine, so I'll never meet you or anyone ever again
<Gyoshoku> it was a joke
<Gyoshoku> you know, cooler heads have suggested you be allowed to live until the child is weaned...
<Gyoshoku> I don't have much influence with that, I'm afraid, they seem to think my judgement is tainted
<Gyoshoku> but it's possible
* Kurousagi looks down at her tummy
<Kurousagi> gods... they actually expect me to do parenting...?
<Gyoshoku> you'd prefer to die?
<Kurousagi> I guess not... but...
<Gyoshoku> yeah... all those women and I never gave a thought to being a father, not for real
<Gyoshoku> it scares me to death
<Gyoshoku> but... I'm excited too, you know....
* Kurousagi laughs. "If we had met anywhere but here, with me not being so utterly evil and what not..."
* Gyoshoku raises a brow
<Gyoshoku> that's a lot of ifs
<Kurousagi> and without her in the picture... we'd make an awesome couple *winks*
<Gyoshoku> heh...
<Gyoshoku> maybe so...
<Gyoshoku> we'd certainly not be boring
<Kurousagi> We'd have lots of fun... and then if I got pregnant, we'd scare ourselves to death
<Gyoshoku> poor kid
<Gyoshoku> you hear that, kid? you have my pity
<Kurousagi> gods, can you imagine what this kid'll be like in sixteen years?
<Gyoshoku> not really
<Kurousagi> a mix between us...
<Kurousagi> he'll be a slut, for one
<Gyoshoku> we'd be grandparents before we knew what hit us
* Kurousagi chuckles
<Kurousagi> and he'll be powerful...
<Kurousagi> we both are, after all...
<Gyoshoku> he'll need training
<Kurousagi> of course
<Kurousagi> but... his talants...
<Gyoshoku> could be amazing, yes
* Kurousagi nods
* Gyoshoku looks up at the sky
<Gyoshoku> we can't let him be like us... lost
<Kurousagi> yeah, I guess that'll be really likely
* Gyoshoku sighs
<Gyoshoku> it's all so much conjecture
<Kurousagi> it's not like they're planning on killing me when he's just old enough to have gotten attached to me
<Gyoshoku> if I ask for you not to pay with your life, I would be reviled as a fool, and worse, Kumiko would have to live with the talk...
<Gyoshoku> they already whisper, you know
<Gyoshoku> about her, you... all of it
<Kurousagi> I know they do
<Gyoshoku> they count on their fingers and she pretends not to care
<Gyoshoku> I hate them, sometimes...
* Kurousagi sighs
<Kurousagi> I'm just saying
<Kurousagi> It's not a great start for the kid not to get lonely
<Gyoshoku> what would you have me do?
<Kurousagi> I don't fucking know...
<Gyoshoku> me neither
<Kurousagi> it's just... I mean, once I'm dead, he'll get fostered away, right?
* Gyoshoku looks away
<Gyoshoku> probably
<Kurousagi> and do you think those people could make sure he felt loved and safe and secure? that he didn't end up like us?
<Gyoshoku> if they loved him
<Kurousagi> how likely is that? knowing he's my son?
<Gyoshoku> I don't know...
<Gyoshoku> maybe if he went far away, where no one knew
<Kurousagi> Maybe...
<Gyoshoku> I can't make this decision now
<Gyoshoku> we should go back
<Kurousagi> Yeah, probably
<Gyoshoku> it looks like it might rain anyway
* Gyoshoku gets to his feet
* Kurousagi looks up at the sky. "Yeah, it does... let's go."
* Kurousagi gets to her feet
<Kurousagi> I hate being in this condition...
<Gyoshoku> sorry
<Kurousagi> yeah, it's your fault for being so fertile, houshi *grins a bit at him*
* Gyoshoku shakes his head
<Gyoshoku> blame me all you want
<Gyoshoku> but I'd prefer it if you didn't let other people know that
<Kurousagi> It's not like I talk much to them
<Gyoshoku> they won't understand
<Gyoshoku> it will hurt Kumiko... I... just, don't, ok?
<Kurousagi> Alright, I won't tell
<Gyoshoku> thanks
<Kurousagi> As for blaming you, what was I supposed to say when you apologise when I'm complaining about being pregnant?
* Gyoshoku chuckles
<Gyoshoku> so I set myself up
<Gyoshoku> I seem to be good at that
* Kurousagi grins a bit. "Yeah, you are."
<Gyoshoku> you seem to enjoy it just a little too much when I do
<Kurousagi> I'm pretty easily amused, these days
<Gyoshoku> lack of material, I understand
<Kurousagi> I guess
<Kurousagi> I am enjoying writing, though
* Gyoshoku smiles
<Gyoshoku> that's good
* Gyoshoku and Kurou reach the prison
* Kurousagi looks down at their hands
* Gyoshoku does as well
<Kurousagi> ...we'd best get untied, eh?
<Gyoshoku> yeah...
* Gyoshoku unties them and escorts her back to her cell
* Kurousagi enters
<Kurousagi> thanks
* Gyoshoku closes the door behind her
<Gyoshoku> so, anything else you want?
<Gyoshoku> I can't afford to buy anything right now, but as long as Kumiko doesn't know, I could probably put my hands on whatever
<Kurousagi> well... if you see any dango lying about... *grins wryly*
* Gyoshoku laughs
<Gyoshoku> dango... right
<Gyoshoku> I'll see what I can do
<Kurousagi> Alright... thanks
* Gyoshoku nods
<Gyoshoku> I'll see you later, then
<Kurousagi> ok... bye
<Gyoshoku> yes....
<Gyoshoku> bye
* Gyoshoku goes
* Gyoshoku is confused
* Kurousagi goes back to sitting on her bed, playing with her writing utensils
<Gyoshoku> <did I just have a decent conversation with that hellbeast?>
<Gyoshoku> <oh gods, did I really tell her I could get lost in her... I'm so terrible... I should be hung...>
<Gyoshoku> <even if it is kinda true... ok, I'm going home, that's all there is to it... must go home>
* Gyoshoku doesn't even stay to make his excuses, just leaves and walks home, gets very wet in the rain that starts about halfway there
* Kurousagi writes slowly, thinking pretty much... also writes slowly because she's trying to perfect her kanji
* Kurousagi isn't quite as confused as Gyo, yay
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